The old grandfather clock strikes midnight. Outside my window, the world is silent. Apart from a stray’s stray bark once in a while, not a soul stirs. My ears strain to hear the hoot of the owl from its perch on the mango tree, or the honk of a car as it speeds past my gate. From the next room, the gentle snores of my father echo through the house. I envy him, envy my neighbours who sleep soundly, unaware of the silence.
My room is dark, but for the soft glow of my laptop screen. A blank document stares back at me. It has been so since a few days. I wonder if it mocks me, goading me to empty thought after thought onto it with the tap-tap-tap of the keys. I want to. I’m desperate to, but yet I don’t want to. I cannot. They’ve been pushed into the depths by voices that whisper they are worthless. Only I know how much they mean, and yet there seems to be a need for acceptance. I don’t know when that came, how that came, why I’m unable to shake it off.
Every night, the battle continues. Words against emptiness. The noise inside my head, the silence outside my window. No witnesses.
No one …
… except me.
I’m taking part in the #WordsMatter blog hop. I’m happy to be participating, along with Nikita Dudani, Anami and 44 others. Please do check out these two wonderful bloggers and their posts as well! You can follow #WordsMatter on social media to find more interpretations on the theme “Outside My Window”.
Vinay Leo R.
04. 08. 2019
Vinay Leo R.
Poetry & writing are to me, a breath of fresh air in a life that is sometimes covered by the smoke of sorrow or self doubt. They also become the sweets I share to celebrate when life offers me a reason to. But most of all, they are to me, my life. For each word I write is a piece of my heart, a thought that just had to find its way into the world.
Relatable. Sometimes the mind feels empty even when it is brimming with thoughts 😉
Beautiful piece. 🙂
Very much, Dashy. It’s the state of the mind often. Esp. for writers 🙂 Glad you liked the piece.
(Vinay Leo R. recently posted… Outside my Window #WordsMatter)
I hereby command that voice in whomsoever’s head to simply “shut up”! You know V, with just a few words, this post brought alive the entire night time scene. Words have power and they are just waiting to pour out stories if given the slightest chance.
(Kala Ravi recently posted… The Seat by the Window)
I hope those voices listen to you then 🙂 Would help a lot.
Glad you could imagine the night scene via the post, Kala.
(Vinay Leo R. recently posted… Outside my Window #WordsMatter)
You’ve been hit by The Block! That’s hard. Staring at the screen, knowing you have lots to say but to be unable to do so – that’s a tough space to be in.
Yes. “The Block” has held me captive since over a month now. Tired of it, to be honest, Tulika. Hope this post breaks it.
(Vinay Leo R. recently posted… Outside my Window #WordsMatter)
Hi Vinay. Very nicely written. Sometimes silence of the night takes us into a world of dilemma and untold challenges. I particularly like the choice of your words, you have said so many things in just 2 little paragraphs.
(Anjana recently posted… Rosy Smiles!)
Not just the silence of the night, Anjana, but the noise of thoughts too. Might be a combination of the two. Glad you liked my words 🙂 Thank you for stopping by.
(Vinay Leo R. recently posted… Outside my Window #WordsMatter)
I have been through this phase for long now. I literally stopped writing. But, recently an advice from a dear friend helped me get through it when I spoke to her about it. I am slowly getting my mojo back now.
(Keerthi Vydyula recently posted… From Balcony #WordsMatter)
I’m glad you are getting your mojo back, Goldie. I hope to get mine back too.
(Vinay Leo R. recently posted… Outside my Window #WordsMatter)
” A stray’s stray bark….” these words indicate that inside there is much more than voices – a capability to pen down thoughts in the best of ways. Dont look at the silence outside, but focus on the noise inside, the document would soon find words -line after line :))
(Ramya Abhinand recently posted… The Bicycle Next To The Car)
Thank you, Ramya. Yes, some part of my muse likes to describe. 🙂 Hope it continues to find words.
It is moment’s like these when you should participate in blog hops or any such as it will push you to write. I have hardly written anything but we should write and as per the quote, ‘You cannot improve a blank paper’..
Absolutely. It’s why I joined the Words Matter blog hop. Not to write a top notch post, but at least to get something out.Thanks, Lata.
Is is the post which made you write again? A very good read!
(Mayuri Nidigallu recently posted… Outside My Window #WordsMatter)
I guess it’s the start to getting back 🙂 I hope it is, anyway. Thanks, Mayuri.
Very relatable, and you explained the writer’s block very accurately. I just hope to get over my block and am happy you are slowly getting over it
(Suha Vijay recently posted… Outside My Window)
Thanks and glad you loved my post, Suha 🙂 I hope you get over yours.
Your words matter, Vinay. I’m glad that you got these out – and so brilliantly as usual! Here’s to more words from you.
Hope so, Corinne. The block just pulls me down suddenly. 🙁 Glad you felt the post was brilliant. 🙂
Your words matter, Vinay. I’m so glad you got these out and so brilliantly, as usual. Looking forward to more from you.
Hope so, Corinne. The block just pulls me down suddenly. 🙁 Glad you felt the post was brilliant.
You definitely have a way with words! I could just picture the scene, with sound effects, including the silence. Good one.
(Ishieta recently posted… Outside my Window #wordsmatter)
Thank you Ishieta. I’m glad that effect was there 🙂
Aah! I can so relate to this. When you so want to write but the words just wouldnt come out. Glad that this post made you break that block!
Loved reading this post, Vinay!
Yes. I’m glad it did too. 🙂 Hope it can release a flow of writing. Thanks, Shilpa Garg.
Wow, that was a wonderful read.
It so happens at night when we are with our musings, blankness, loneliness yet so many thoughts inside the mind ready to come out but they don’t get the proper rhymes to fall back on that blank screen and no one only we know about it.
Yes. That’s the case more often than not. Thank you, Pragun.
That’s what I have been doing since yesterday–staring at the screen, my mind blank, and then out of frustration, just wasting time on facebook or Instagram. Some days, the mind has such moodswings, it gets difficult to get a thing done!
Oh yes. Mood can play such a big role in getting things written, I think. Thank you for dropping by, Shilpa Gupte. I hope your block breaks too.
That’s how my nights has been these days without P. Instead of your Dad’s snores, it is Muffy’s dreamwalk though. 😛 Thanks for participating in the bloghop. Hope you had fun!
(Shalini recently posted… The Nine-Chambered Heart by Janice Pariat #BookReview)
Muffy’s dreamwalk sounds nice 😛 Hope he puts a nice friendly paw on you to keep you company, T.
Ah the silence of words can be even eerier than the night. You should come out of it soon. It’s wonderful to read your blogpost after a long time.
(Rajlakshmi recently posted… Is she a Pluviophile?|Photo Blog #WordsMatter)
It’s good to be read by you after a long time too, Raji. 🙂 I hope the block isn’t too recurring.
Your post inspired Corinne to write about ‘Writer’s block’ for #writingwednesday. I loved the description of the night and I know the helpless feeling when you want to write but nothing comes out. Good to visit your blog after ages.
I think something else inspired Corinne to think of the topic, Balaka. 🙂 But yeah, I hope the post somehow breaks the barriers. Glad you liked the post.
Very well written.
Thanks Onkar
This was great and how honest you were about your block. Thank you for taking part in #WordsMatter. You did well.
(Parul Thakur recently posted… #ThursdayTreeLove – 69)
Perhaps that was the only topic that came to me. 🙂 Thanks Parul.