I am participating in the 6th Write Tribe Festival of Words. I hope to blog for seven days in a row. The theme for Day 3 is “Feature a map, and write about a place, either virtual or real.” I’m using a treasure map I found on Pixabay.
Piégé – The Search for Treasure
“X marks the spot,” said Lloyd, stopping near a thatched hut. There wasn’t anyone in it. Peter smiled.
“Piégé is cursed,” the old man had said, trying to scare them off the island.
“If he could return, so can we,” they laughed.
Peter had paid the old man a hundred dollars for the map. They would find millions more after all. They had found the inlet to the island easily enough, and tied the boat to a tree. The path wasn’t that difficult either. It had been marked by circles carved on tree trunks.
As they dug, they wondered what it held. The sound of metal on metal told them their quest was at an end. Bending down, the two of them pulled it out. There was no lock. They saw the glow of gold as they opened the lid.
“Cursed, my foot. He was only trying to scare us,” said Peter, laughing.
He never saw the spade that hit the back of his head.
“I ain’t sharing this treasure,” said Lloyd, picking up the chest and walking away from his partner without remorse.
When he reached the inlet after an hour’s walk, he saw that the boat was gone. It had been cut loose, and was now drifting away in the wind, too far for him to swim even without the chest.
Lloyd turned to go back to the hut, but he was shocked to see that the carved circles had now disappeared from the trunks.
“This is not happening,” he cried, cursing his luck.
The chest suddenly seemed lighter. When he opened the trunk, Lloyd saw that there was only a piece of paper there.
“Piégé is French for trapped. I warned you, didn’t I?” he read, just as the old man’s laughter echoed from between the trees.
You can read some of my earlier posts for Write Tribe – here.
(© Vinay Leo R. @ I Rhyme Without Reason,
7th August, 2017)
Really enjoyed this piece of fiction, Vinay. Felt bad how greed can make us do horrible things 🙁
They can. And more often than not, they do so too, Z. Glad you enjoyed the fiction.
That was interesting. What all people do for treasures? Nah?
(Sheethal recently posted… My Favorite Resource)
Yes. Till the treasure is seen, they are adventurous. Once seen, they become greedy. At times, such greed deserves such ends. No, SSJ?
Oh man, this was nail biting and a bit scary. I am a fan of fiction and I love the way your stories have an unexpected twist at the end.
I’m hoping the twist was unexpected enough, Kavita, though a few of my friends would have guessed it, I’m sure. 🙂 Thank you. Glad you liked the story. 😀
Greed leads to entrapment. Well-written.
(Damyanti recently posted… What Place Do You Remember? #WriteBravely)
Thank you, Damyanti. 🙂
Looking for a short parable about greed? Sure, but I might (re)consider using that treasure map.
(Steph recently posted… Spending the Day at Del Mar #WritingBravely)
Yeah. I was going more for the supernatural touch, Steph. 😀 But kind of worked out as a parable, I guess.
I wonder if the treasure map will help Lloyd now too. And if the island is safe anymore, even with a hut. 😛 😉
Lloyd kind of deserved it, for going against his partner in the hope of an unseen treasure.
(Bhavya recently posted… The Secret Of The Map #WriteBravely #Ishithaa)
Yes. I think so too, Ishi. Maybe both deserved the end, for their greed. But Lloyd would suffer more.
Ah loved the thwack at the end. Reminds us not to go looking for treasure…. What a brilliant and different take on the prompt.
(Bellybytes recently posted… Mapping an unforgettable memory #Writing Bravely)
Haha. Treasures are good, but not cursed ones perhaps, Sunita. 🙂 Also, not for greed.
Wow! Treasure hunt gone awry! Loved this Vinay!
(Kala Ravi recently posted… Resourcefully Yours)
Yes. Sadly awry, that’s for sure. 🙁 Glad you loved it, Kala.
What a twist to the treasure hunt tale! Kept me hooked till end! Interesting read!
– Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
https://mocktailmommies.blogspot.com
Thank you so much, Anagha. Glad it kept you hooked till the end.
That reminds me of Famous Five- hunting for a lost treasure – the spooky part is the ending. Neatly done Vinay!
Thank you, Akshata. 🙂 I wouldn’t give such an ending to the Famous Five, that’s for sure. I like them a lot. 😉
Ooh…scary! Teaches you not to be greedy. ?
Thank you, Apeksha.
Now that is so scary! I cannot imagine being stranded in a place! Phew!
Well written, V!
(Shalini recently posted… Winter is Coming!)
That’s why the character’s name was Lloyd, not Shalini. 😉
Glad you liked it, T. 😀
Oooh! This is a nice, spooky tale! Has an Indiana Jones vibe to it, though he always managed to get his treasures!
(Modern Gypsy recently posted… Finding Beth #WriteBravely)
Yeah. This treasure was kind of unattainable, Gypsy. 😉 Hehe..
Oh! That was wicked. Enjoyed reading this story.
(Lata Sunil recently posted… The Madurai Meenakshi Temple)
Glad you enjoyed reading the story, Lata.
Cursed,. My foot…?
Hehe. Yes, Monika.
Great story Vinay… the island is not cursed but greed is that looms over us like a curse. He tried to grab everything alone only to be stranded in a god forsaken island.
Perhaps it is a bit of both, Balaka. Greed definitely curses people to worse fates. I feel so too.
Oh …. treasure hunt ended in scary situation. Loved this fiction. Your fictions are infectious to read more of it.
(Vasantha Vivek recently posted… Cape Town In 6 Photos …… #WTFOW Day 3)
Thank you, Vasantha. 🙂 I’m glad you feel that the fictions are well written enough to make you want to read more.
Oh my this is an evil and greed tale via a map!! Interesting word play here Vinay!
(SHALINI BAISIWALA recently posted… | Day-3 | Map to a moonland in Ladakh | WriteTribe – Fesitval of Words 2017 |)
Thank you, Shalini. 🙂
Wow, this is a really good story. Loved the way you portrayed greed. Oh yes, and that twist at the end – your hallmark!
(Sreedeep recently posted… The Surprise)
Haha. 😉 Thank you. Glad you felt that the twist is my hallmark, Sreedeep.
A good fun read 🙂 enjoyed this one!
Thanks, Ishieta.
Eerie… I love spooky thrillers and horror stories. I did suspect that the old man was up to no good 😀 (courtesy my devouring horror novels and movies) and once Lloyd’s greed took over, he was in for it, deservedly so. Nicely written Vinay… also, thanks for bringing forward the French word for trapped – will try using it to perplex my friends 😛
Hehe 😀 Yes. I didn’t think it would be a big twist for many people, Venice. Glad you liked the story! 😀 Just went for a supernatural effect, so glad it worked out.
I love reading short stories and his one certainly didn’t disappoint. A map, a treasure chest and a curse …all ingredients for nail-biting fiction!
Glad you liked reading my short story, and felt that it was nail-bitingly good, Mahak. 🙂
I love reading fiction. Awesome writeup vinay! It had me hooked up till the end. The ending as well was unexpected.
Thanks, Keerthi. Glad it was engaging enough, and that the twist was unexpected. 🙂