your fairy tales, they used to be my all,
little wisdom you shared, so heaven sent;
eager to know much more, I lost my frown.
in candlelight smiled your eyes lined with kohl,
your voice soothing, a hope your stories lent;
in those moments, my true passion I found.
I grew with words, then said I knew it all
and your love I forbade, became distant;
in that future you made, I lost my ground.
now you seem far, too far to catch my fall,
just memories to hold, words to repent;
winter of life, in your silence, I drown.
winter of life, in your silence, I drown,
yearning for tales, those golden hand-me-downs.
Shared with Poetry Pantry and dVerse Form4All. Inspired by Antara’s photography.
(March 1st, 2013)
melancholy sonnet with great adherence to the form..I like the ‘soothing voice’; I used a similar picture;)
Thanks, Katy. π
makes me think of a grandparent…maybe a parent, but for me a grandfather…he was a fireman…and had some great stories of daring…he’s been gone years now….nice use of the form sir…
It is my grandmother for me, Brian. Lots of stories… glad you liked the poem π
Beautiful, simply beautiful … you are the master of words Leo !!!
Thanks, Amrit π
“winter of life” is a lovely metaphor for old-age. I found “did forbade” clunky – the “did” is totally redundant.
Thanks, Tony, for the appreciation and the suggestion. I wrote as I’d spoken it, so the “did” didn’t feel clunky to me. On reading again, I thought you had a valid point, and changed that line slightly. π
Fantastic heroic couplet — very touching conclusion
Thanks, Sabio π
Accomplished poem about the losses that come with growing up, the memories and regrets that are unearthed in that headlong rush into adulthood. An effective evocation of theme from the inspirational image. Well done.
Ain’t it just so tragic, those losses? I’m having a chance to correct that, but something still holds me back. Glad you felt the poem to be an accomplished. Thank you for the info on the form, Samuel. π
As we grow older, we’re not always stil enthralled with the stories of our elders but then sometimes find it too late when we again wish to hear their voices…sad. I can feel the regret and yearning.
Exactly… sigh! Thanks, Bodhirose.
The gradual loss of our relatives is painfully and beatyfully described. I think this piece of poetry is just great.
Thanks, BjΓΆrn, glad you felt it great.
Oh I just love this. I just read it about 3-4 times. I love the rhyme words. I love the story. I love it all – the story speaks to me of such a strong nostalgia and that is how I write so I can definitely relate
Wow. 4 times.. thank you, Gretchen. Glad you loved it all, and that you could feel a sense of nostalgia with it.
winter of life, in your silence, I drown ….really amazing line captivating the mind…happy to read ur poem Leo..GOD<3U
Thanks, Adhi Das.
winter of life, in your silence, I drown, – I love the feel and the warmth of this, strong words well written
I kind of felt cold afterward, Alan. Glad it gave some warmth to you and that you felt it well written.
there’s such truth in this and we could all do with remembering it
Thanks, Emma.
the voice is beautifully judged and sustained. The form is well handled and really lends a precision to the language. You’ve caught the weight of storytelling really well.
A sad story, but one that’s true for a lot of us. Thanks, Cheesewolf, that you found my voice to be sustained.
So sad and tender, too. I love the photo that you attached. I am lost in the meloncholy of this piece and will call my mom later. I don’t want to loose that contact.
I’m glad you liked the poem and it made you want to call your mom, Judy. Thanks!
I find the image of drowning in silence so powerful… it immediately pulled up feelings from the depths I can’t explain, but this poem really touched me.
Thanks, Serena. I’m happy that you felt it to be powerful. Hope you have had a happy week.
Ah, there are many questions I now wish I had asked, many stories I wish now I had written down. Too late now. Your poem made me reflect!
Yes, it is that sense of “if only” that I feel too. Thank you, Mary.
Sad and oh so beautiful. Such an intimate meaningful poem.
Thanks, Jessica, glad you felt it intimate & meaningful.
Hi Buddy you’ve been nominated by me for Liebster Award, please check it @ http://just4suzan.blogspot.com/2013/03/liebster-award-youre-blogging-pretty.html and play your part! Cheers π
Thanks, for honoring my blog, Anunoy. I’ll accept it. Since I’ve very recently done a Liebster post, I’ll add your questions on to that and answer. Thanks again!
Leo.. I have always enjoyed reading your blog and highly value your comments.
And words are not enough to praise and appreciate the efforts you put in bringing so many bloggers in a forum at Haiku Heights…
So here I give away Creative Blogger award to you.
Please follow this link:
http://locomente.blogspot.in/2013/03/creative-blogger-award.html
Thanks, Satyarekha. I’m glad you love my blog, and I hope to shower yours with some comments soon. I’m very lazy or busy, one of the two and haven’t been to your space in a while now. Thanks for honoring my blog with your award. π
I get this poem…to the very core. And the feeling never goes away…never lessens. It has become constant now.
Loved this. Thank you.
Thanks, Antara. I’m glad you loved it π