Oh I wish …

I’ve wasted a lot of money. I know I’m an easy come, easy go, life’s short so live it to the fullest while you can type of person, but I’ve wasted a lot of money for chasing something that begins to feel less important with each passing day.

I wasted a lot of money trying to get a degree. I know what I did honestly was right, and the papers I gave, the answers I wrote there were correct. But the ones evaluating me felt otherwise, and I wasted a lot of money trying to prove them wrong. I realize now it wasn’t in my hands at all, and they could do whatever they pleased once the cash had left my hand and fallen in theirs.

I’ve wasted a lot of money on junk food. A burger here, a few chips there… that would have been fine. But I’ve become addicted to pizzas and fried stuff that has actually become the death of me. I’m but a shell of what I used to be before this addiction. Money aside, I’ve gained 20 kgs atleast, and I can’t seem to shake it off (or work it off either).

I’ve wasted a lot of money on giving gifts. I used to be a generous kind, sponsoring lunch, coffee, giving gifts to friends each birthday. I’ve reduced that generosity of late, but money once gone cannot return. It wasn’t money wisely spent at all.

All that money, I should have used to realize my dream. Instead I squandered it away. Now, when my passion for reading novels and poetry has resurfaced, I find that I’m regretting that lost money which I could have used to buy more novels, read more, improve my writing more (yes, reading novels does help improve writing). I wish I had one more chance to live life. I’d not waste all that money then. I’d buy so many books that I can open a library myself. I’d go for a literature degree than one that isn’t as useful to my dream. I’d eat less of junk food (possibly become healthy). I wish I had that one more chance.


(January 14th, 2013)

Poetry & writing to me are to me, a breath of fresh air in a life that is sometimes covered by the smoke of sorrow or self doubt. They also become the sweets I share to celebrate when life offers me a reason to. But most of all, they are to me, my life. For each word I write is a piece of my heart, a thought that just had to find its way into the world.

6 thoughts on “Oh I wish …

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  1. It is NEVER to late,,,I found a dream at 55,,,and lost weight at 67,,,so get crackin’ – “the best is yet to be” for such a talented one as “thee”.

  2. Man! you realized this after all. That’s why I went to a literature degree and have never gifted anyone as of now (except for the special ones). And the extra kgs, yes, I am also trying to shake it off or rather gym it off.. 🙂

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