this light coming through cracked windows
I eye it with the desperation of a wasted mind
far from the swagger of confidence, far from
the slouch of casual regard, in me now, I find
a revolution against myself, and a world I saw
storytellers spin tales of rising from the ashes
a new life cleansed of sin from cheap actions
yet I still doubt myself, for in forgetting words
of judgment from some granite eyes that watch
I have also forgotten tears of those who cared
if I die young, I wish to greet without regret
and embrace the heavens as I was meant to
till that day, I pray to not let life be screwed
by the darkness it finds itself enslaved in
tonight, I’ll give up the stranger in my mirror
The Sunday Whirl , Saturday Centus
© Leo (21st August, 2011)
I love this, Leo… especially the last verse. Very powerful piece… the wordle words weren’t forced at all.
Glad you loved it Laurie 🙂
A very thought provoking write. It combines weakness of being with strength of spirit. The willingness to give up the stranger in the mirror is almost a Zen acceptance. Powerful stuff.
Thank you, Mike 🙂 Glad you felt it powerful…!
You start with light and end with a plea that darkness not screw life… The piece flows well from beginning to end, Leo. Excellent write..
Thanks and glad you felt it flowed, Sue..! 🙂
Well done. We all would do well to give up that stranger in the mirror.
=)
Thank you, Sue! 🙂
To my mind this read like a song, it was so eloquent and flowing. It left a powerful message and was stunningly written.
Thanks, Scribbler!
This poem is compact and dense with meaning, flowing from light to darkness. I especially like the the idea of giving up the reflection in the mirror. It evokes in me a desire to examine my own (or imagined) reflection. I once wrote a poem about doing just that.
Namaste……….cj
Glad you liked it, CJ! 🙂 I do like to go dense and deep at times. I feel we should, once every few days or so, examine our own reflections! If we cant find our own reflection, how can others?
I like way you’ve structured this self-reflection…very nicely done.
Glad you liked the poem and the structuring, Martin. Cheers!
Powerful piece of self judgement and of re-newing self confidence in whom you see in the mirror.
Great use of the worlde words Leo.
Thanks, Daydreamer 🙂
That was truly beautiful. Thank you.
Thanks a lot, Dazee 🙂
Impressive. By Golly, Impressive. Taking and putting the two prompts together like that in
one wonderful write.
Thank you for sharing.
☮ Siggi in Downeast Maine
Thanks, Siggi 🙂
I’ll give up the stranger in my mirror … ooh, I loved that.
Glad you loved it, Deborah! 🙂
Really strong writing that is very thought provoking. Signs of great writing!
Thank you, Julia! 🙂
Well written Leo!! I see your swagger of confidence all over in this poem and a wonderful self observation to report!! 🙂 You are fighting fit!! 🙂
Resigning and accepting as inevitable the fate and then the turn around in the last three lines, is absorbing, capable of arousing and holding the attention; a fascinating story of self portrayal.
Glad you could see the swagger 😉 Thanks, Nanka!
I really liked this and you used the wordle words well. I join the others in saying I loved the line about giving up the stranger in the mirror.
Thank you, Susanna 🙂
Excellent !
To be a stranger no more to oneself is the first step to knowing, loving acceptance of self and then being able to love others !
Yes, that stranger should move out of us, then we can keep ourselves more happy! Thanks, Nonna..
Well-written!
Thanks, Mamazen 🙂
This sounded like some hard rock song lyrics, metallica or something, I really like it
Dark yet with a positiveness? Glad you liked it, Madge 🙂 I do love LP, but don’t think I’ve reached their lyrical height 😉
Wow Leo you constantly surprise me I see a new side of you with each turn and I realize how extraordinary you are.
I’m glad you find vividness in me, Amanda 🙂 Thank you.
A promise that remains broken many a time….thoughtful, deep words of introspection which in itself needs a healthy dose of courage.
Yes. Thank you, Rekha!
Fantastic, Leo! Like many of the others, I particularly love the ending. We all need to give up the stranger in the mirror. Well written.
Thank u and glad you liked it, Traci.
Great take on the prompt! Love that ending!
Thanks, upinthecosmos!
A great poem Leo and an excellent use of the wordle words.
My favourite line is, “I have also forgotten tears of those who cared” – isn’t this true of so many of us, wrapped up in our own world we forget about the important things and people.
Yes, Mike. So much love stays forgotten because of our fall.
Simply wonderfully and powerfully too !!
Thanks, Cathy 🙂
Leo, really enjoyed this. I love the second half of that second stanza. The imagery of the granite eyes and the tears – the loss there is palpable.
Richard
Thank you, Richard 🙂 I’m glad you liked.
What a powerful writer you are.
Although I was tempted to cut and paste the ENTIRE work for special praise, the final two lines in the second stanza really arrowed into my heart.
This work needs to be published. The images and references are so strong.
I am honored you linked this to my humble little Saturday Centus.
You are a wordsmith extraordinaire.
Wow.
Thanks Jenny for loving it a lot and picking out some choice words for praise. I’m glad you liked it and will certainly look to get my words published.
The last line struck me the most. How true.
We need to know ourselves well and accept who we are. Only then are we able to step out and meet others.
Thanks for depicting the thoughts 🙂
Thanks, Clariice 🙂 Yes, we do need to give up that stranger in the mirror soon.
I loved the spirit of the rhyme… very inspiring and what’s the word – uplifting. Good job done. 🙂
Glad it was uplifting in its mood, Deboshree 🙂
Liked it a lot Leo ! 🙂
Thanks, Divenita! 🙂 I hadn’t noticed a backlog in the archives 😀 This is one of my favorites too.