When I feel out of mood, there is very little chance that anyone can cheer me up easily. I feel alone, and in that mindset, the world seems dark to me. Its just a momentary feeling perhaps, but one that’s more powerful than anything I’ve known. I retreat into my shell, forget anything else, and everything just feels wrong and out of place, even the ink that I use to release my thoughts.
Written in a combination of “Acrostic” and “Ottava Rima” forms, for Loneliness, the 57th theme at The Thursday Think Tank at Poets United, and for Phantom, the 177th prompt at One Single Impression. Image from THIS SOURCE.
Shadows crawl beneath my feet under this light,
Of black sunshine, moonshine and their colored traps;
Like a phantom, I float; unsure of this night,
In spite of myself, caught in life, its mishaps;
Tame I have become; engulfed by all not right
Under this ceiling of stars; all hopes seem sapped.
Dire seems this world; yet oblivious, I walk
Each step in life; if only the fates could talk.
ยฉ Leo 16/July/2011
Never tried an Acrostic…but e’time I read one of yours, I’m inspired…No one could have possibly dealt with a lonely subject so well; using the prompts in a much better way than possible!!
Thanks, Fiducia, for liking my poetry that much ๐ An acrostic is fun, and it is one of my more preferred forms to tackle! Glad you felt I did the prompts justice!
Hi Leo, I can relate to this and you’ve expressed this feeling succinctly, “engulfed by all not right”. Very well written ๐
Yes, when its not right, it just goes completely wrong. Thanks, P & I.
This resonates with me…words just right for expressing the bottomless pit of darkness that I would feel in the same soul place…thanks for sharing so eloquently.
โฎ Siggi in Downeast Maine
Thanks, Siggi. Glad you liked it. Sad that many people feel the bottomless pit of gloom when it happens, but I guess that just shows we do have emotions in us.
I’m usually an extrovert.. I talk a lot, I love being surrounded by people, I laugh and sing and even dance sometimes, for no particular reason. In short, I make a lot of noise, and generally act kinda like a clown..
But sometimes I withdraw into my shell. I feel alone, like I’m not meant to be here. Like no one in this world quite understands me.. This poem resonates so deeply with this side of me. It’s exactly what’s going on in my head right now. It’s like.. Even if we’re all alone, we’re together in that..
Thank you. ๐
Yes of course, The Pencil Girl. Even I am, usually, an extrovert. ๐ But I just push back into my shell during my down times.
Together in loneliness.. I like that thought! ๐
Loved your opening lines! Powerful yet moving poem. Nice job!
Thanks, TheMsLvh ๐ Glad you liked it.
“Shadows crawl beneath my feet under this light,”
a striking start to an amazing poem! love it, Leo! โฅ
Thanks, Dani ๐ Glad you liked it.
We all go through such times, when our shell , both protects and make us caged .. Perhaps that completes the circle. But being an ardent admirer of your poetry (and words), I am spellbound by your take on words , when one usually is on continuous search to express themselves or their void feelings .. Every line aptly ( Ummm even that doesn’t fit here , acc to me ) describes the hollowness during low times. I loved this poem. I had heard somewhere that some best poems come out of poets when they reach rock bottom of their feelings , and this time , I deeply felt same about you .. ” If only fate could talk ” is just bringing string of thoughts which I am myself exploring .. Words and you are the best(est) pair ! Leo, you rock ..
Thanks for a wonderful comment, Adreamygal ๐ Yes, most of us do have moments when solitude is more dear than company. Glad you liked it and felt that each line portrays the hollowness quite nicely!
how MANY forms of poetry do you know Leo?? its freakin’ incredible!! i find your blog more informative and interesting than my sucking physics book!(though why i compare your blog with such a thing i dont know :P)
the poem is beautiful. i umm.. couldnt relate much with it because i CANT stay gloomy for long. i have to prance around and give everyone a headache ๐ i feel thats my job ๐ anyways… super cool as ever Leo!!
I don’t really know how many I know, Kirti. I just try as I get to know it, and with the plethora of poets on Blogsville, I even am not able to keeep track of new forms when I find one.
I’m sure Physics is always on your mind ๐ Its your favorite subject. Now I know for sure you will be a physics scientist soon ๐ ๐
Glad you liked the poem, and yeah, that job sounds nice ๐ Hope you keep it forever!
Very moving Leo, well expressed feelings that many can relate to
Great write.
Thanks, Eclipse. ๐ Glad you liked it.
“Tame I have become, engulfed by all not right” – my favorite line.
Solitude, many a times, is so necessary. It is for me at least (although I am an extrovert…or so my friends say)
Thanks, Antara ๐ Even an extrovert needs solitude I think. I’m tooo talkative in that sense ๐ Glad you liked the poem.
Fates talk and that’s why the step forward ..Leo.. don’t know but you might haver found my take on phantom.. a bit similar in theme.. yes, we all pass through such moments.. truth shines.. WE PASS THROUGH..
I may have missed it, Rameshji. I’ll drop in soon on the OSI hop tonight. Lets hope I pass through these moments ๐
Very expressive and so great imagery, it flowed~
Thanks, Ella ๐
Loneliness is a powerful and overwhelming emotion; I know I’ve felt that way. Nevertheless, this piece makes loneliness seem beautiful. ๐
Yes, and strangely enough, it is endearing too, Mariela. Glad you found my poem beautiful. ๐
One of the moods rendered so well. Everyone passes through, some more often, some less.
Thanks, Harshadji. Yes, a lot of us pass through it at some time or another I think.
i liked the illustration with your poem.
Thanks, Dishita.. Glad you liked it.
If fate could talk, life would be predictable. And even if it could talk, would it speak the truth? I loved the verse Vinay…. nicely done!
Good question.. Maybe it would be, maybe not, who knows? ๐ Glad you liked it, Deboshree ๐
very deep…..its so raw….just how i know u…
Thanks, Chimnese.