Just a loner…

I might have a lot of loving hearts around me, but the love just doesn’t seem to hold you know. Today, I felt that a lot, felt that that love might be more circumstantial than everlasting. Do what pleases them and the love stays; irk them even the slightest, be silent for a few minutes and the love, both theirs and mine is just forgotten. Perhaps that is why I feel alone. Just in this loneliness, a part of me is a nomad, trying to find some peace of mind.

I share this post with Poetry Potluck.

I’m no saint or martyr
But a loner
Like the tear drops
On a white lily
Grey to the eyes
Not believing in colors
And forgetful
Of the warmth that
Resides in a smile
I’m that lily’s laughter
Trying to find soul
And in that laughter
I find my peace

I’m no saint or martyr
But a loner
On the desert plain
My echoes lost soon
In the deep silence
Of the warm sand
A voice unheard
Unwanted till the wind
Carries the lullaby
Across the face
To soothe the tearful
And in that soothing
I find my peace

I’m no saint or martyr
Just a loner
In a world where
I’m lost till eternity
Trying to find peace

© Leo 27/06/2011

Poetry & writing are to me, a breath of fresh air in a life that is sometimes covered by the smoke of sorrow or self doubt. They also become the sweets I share to celebrate when life offers me a reason to. But most of all, they are to me, my life. For each word I write is a piece of my heart, a thought that just had to find its way into the world.

44 thoughts on “Just a loner…”

  1. You seem to be in a mood. I can’t label it exactly but if it brings out such poetry from you, I have to appreciate its presence. 🙂 Well done!

    • Melancholy, frustration etc maybe? The presence is always there, but the strength and impact is more revealed now I think. Thanks Deboshree.

    • It is not that I don’t enjoy my own company, Jingle. Just that sometimes the voices of others help ease the mind when I’m mood off with my own fate or destiny.

  2. In answer to your paragraph about love. I think love is overrated. Also, people want to “fall in love” immediately and think everything will be soooo good. Hardly ever works out that way. Love needs a lot of work before it can be called love. Instant gratification, i.e., lust, is too often called love. Bad call.

    The poem is strong. And truthful. And realistic. I have been a loner all of my life. Now I am old and alone. I feel no sorrow because of that. My wife died two years ago. We were made for one another. We were both loners who lived together. We understood each other. Not many can say that.

    • Ah, your thoughts on love there is true, Jerry.. I know that to be true of the romantic love as well.. but the love I talk of there is of all, even parental, sibling and friend as well. The love of a parent or sibling is always love itself right?

      Thank you for finding my poem strong, and truthful. I hope to find someone, someday, who understands me too. You’re right, not many can say that, and I’m glad you had one such person in your life. But she might be looking down on you I think and smiling. 🙂 So you might not be as alone as you feel.

  3. i agree with Jerry on the word love…..and i read your intro on love and being a loner..that is me..and its true how love can easily drifting….i am a person who likes my space, and the minute i want that for myself to take time out, or check out when i feel like i want my own space…it only happens when i feel clostaphobic by the person i am with….ive also recently discovered how i usually wud go into a relationship and look for an escape, not that i dont love the person..i have so much fears in me, that love fades and when it does you’re left heartbroken and thinking you wudve been better off if u werent with anyone..

    • Ah, dear Chimnese, the love I talk of in the intro is not just a “romantic” love. It can be the love of a parent or a sibling or even a friend; that love is supposed to be always there. Glad you liked the poem.

  4. i have this poem by heart leo!!! its just… just BEAUTIFUL… though why you should feel like this i have no idea… u have your words to drive you out of your loneliness afterall.. and then you have many admirers like me 🙂 🙂 cheer up!!! (grinning)
    i wanted to ask u something.. wud u please read my poem on “seven sins” prompt and tell me if its good enuf?? i wud post the link then…

    • My poem memorized already? Whoa! That’s nice. Thank you, Kirti. The answer to the “why” is too long to tell. Might be some other time. The loneliness I talk of is the one that happens without company. Just people I mean. Words and readers, of course I’ll always have. Read your poem and left a comment too.

      • yeah thanks for that Leo. and btw, turns out that my insistence on your blog has done its job. many of my frnds are now your fans too!!! we all love your poetry. hope you keep going forever. best wishes 🙂

  5. Beautiful! We all tend to feel isolated these days. It’s so hard to really connect with other people when our lives seem to revolve around technology and other peoples schedules. Contentment is knowing that the loneliness passes and love doesn’t leave, it might just take breaks.

  6. This is beautiful. The title gives it a sad initial feeling, but reading the poem made me feel like being a loner was ok and that person is ok with feeling that way. Very nice-thanks for sharing.

  7. A few times I felt like I am a loner too – and I felt the poignant feel of loneliness
    I have a question though – if you had found peace in the first two stanzas why did the last one end up still trying to find peace?

    • The last lines of both those verses say “I find my peace”, not “I found my peace”, Clariice. Meaning to say, those are two things where I do find my peace. The scope of the poem can be widened, for there are other things too that make feel at peace, but to list them all would be somewhat tedious in verse I felt.

      Being alone is poignant, very much. And lot of situations arise where we feel alone too. Just that self search and search for company is never ending.

  8. It’s nice being a loner sometimes, but not all the time… 😛
    It makes me think and reflect on many things in life
    and I do want some solitude now…. na! 😛

  9. That opening paragraph where you said “love might be more circumstantial than everlasting” really got to me being a romantic I truly want to believe the latter but I can absolutely understand how it feels and seems more like the former. Amazing poem, you never cease to amaze me with the depth of your work.

    • Yes, sometimes it does feel more circumstantial to me, mindlovemisery. It is just momentary, for there is a slight bit of the romantic in me too, and I wish to hope for the latter as well. Glad you found my poem amazing in its depth.

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