Sloth struck, he was jobless
Eager was envy, he drunk
In gluttony, he embraced wrath
In protest, the quarrel began
She left, left him seething
He saw scared eyes peeking
Love became lust, he pounced
In greed, all shame renounced
A moment, life cried
She who he raised with pride
That night, her dreams died
Not a day passes that I don’t read in the paper about this crime. Some little angel, and her many dreams being crushed by someone who loved dearly till that point. Whatever the situation might have been, be it drunk or frustrated, all it takes is a moment for a life to die, and seven sins to work their way into a life. I hope that it will stop soon, that the victims of such a sin get back on their feet soon to resurrect their dreams, and remove the memory of that moment from their life.
I share this “fiction” with Flash 55 Friday, with OSI where the topic is Seven Sins, and also, later this week with One Shot. The image has been taken from HERE, found through Google Images search.
© Leo 25/06/2011
It happens too often! You captured the enormity of it in just 55 words, well done.
Yes, it does happen once too often for sure, Akelamalu. Thank you for stopping by and appreciating the flash fiction.
Cruelty Has Drastically Increased. Good Write Up Leo.
And it is increasing everyday, when the spiral should be going downward I feel. Thanks Minnie.
thank you leo. this is a sad tale that wrenches my gut. being abuse awareness month too this is apropo…it should never happen…evocative…
Indeed it is gut wrenching, and it happens so often that we don’t know where it’ll be next, or where it is going on at that moment. It shouldn’t happen and I sincerely pray the stats fall in this regard, Brian.
Creative way of using each sin in a tale like format..the best part of this work that I really like is that you have managed to capture the true essence, an integral concern of today’s society in an intriguing manner! Well done, once again, as always!!! Gr8 work..
Leo, you do know I’m an amateur in entering weekly poetry formats. I really like the concept of One Stop Poetry and what you all work our with that platform. However, I’m still confused by the rules of accepting the award. Where do I link back the winning page in my blog? Below the entry that was submitted for the rally and that which got nominated or below my current post? I’m kinda confused. Can you help me? Also, what is this Friday Flash 55?
If only the concern escalates to a point where it becomes a war-footing to stop that. But what happens in a family stays in the family, more often than not. So it becomes difficult for us to slay the sin, so to speak. Glad you liked my way of using the topic suggested by you for OSI, Fiducia. Thank you.
A heartbreaking subject, a moment life cried… thought provoking and so well done!
Yes, in that moment, the little life has no choice, no space to breathe.. no option but to cry I think. I hope the tears give more strength, Ina, for the life to continue than to die.
There should be a limit to everything. He wouldn’t have done that thing if he wasn’t overly drunk. I’m sure he wouldn’t live peacefully until he dies.
True. A limit to everything… A sober mind would have recognized the love he had for her and eased her fear than prey on it. If he still is living, he doesn’t deserve any peace I feel, Nethra.
This is A-1 in my book. Simple. Straight-forward. Kickass. You are an excellent poet who can get your message across in fantastic ways.
Thanks Jerry. Glad you liked it and felt I brought my point across fantastically. I’ve read your complaint and removed the widget. I’ve also kept the text intact on hard disk, so if you feel I shouldn’t have edited it out from your comment, I can always put it back 😉
Increasing crime is the prime reason of my belief in the 2010 theory. On a serious note, you have touched upon a sensitive subject with amazing artistic brilliance. Hats off.
Thanks Deboshree, for liking the way I touched upon the topic. Crime is increasing alright, but hope it starts to decrease soon.
mannn seriously i got goosebumps on my hands while reading this…. its very very touching and TRUE. awesome work…
Yes, it is true. A lot of lives would have experienced this. Thanks for liking my poem, Kirti.
well u write in a way that everyone is BOUND to like. its really really amazing.. 🙂
Thank you once again, Kirti. A pleasure to write, and also to find new readers..
No, but they can feel them.
I think you meant the previous haiku set, Alice. Thank you!
True and heartbreaking poem.
Great way to illustrate how tangled up in sins one can get without paying it much mind until it’s too late.
Yes, Stranger. When the sins begin to increase everyday, the weight sometimes becomes too much to handle and by the time it is possible to, it is too late.
nice work around the seven sins, it remind of the movie se7en.
Thank you, AA and I’m glad you liked it.
It’s really sad … and to say the least India ranks fourth in most dangerous places for women in the world…
very powerful write.. hard hitting .
Well, it would be nice if there wasn’t a rating for that thing I guess. I hope a time comes when this act is non-existant. Thanks Raji.
Excellent poem on a very important topic to make people aware of…well done.
Thank you very much, Martin.
Bravo, Leo! You speak eloquently for all. A fine poem of social conscience. Thank you!
Yes, all we can do is speak I think. The listening part is not active much, but I hope it becomes soon. Thank you, Jamie.
Frightening–but way too common a scenario. I’m with you, Vinay–I hope those who have been victimized in this way will be able to lead a dream-filled life again.
Well done–an important topic to bring to everyone’s attention.
If it is frightening for us to just read it, I wonder how the people who’ve been victimized will be able to cope. They’re the strongest minds, if they jump back up soon and dream once again I think. Thank you, Gayle. Yes, it is something we need to bring to notice often I feel.
It was just like hair raising moment , when i read this poem I could see a art film kinda thing on the subject..Very beautifully explained …can say short and crisp….Superb…
Ah.. but it ain’t art, or a film Pure2Core, but a harsh reality that happens so much every day. I hope the actions against it strengthen soon.
This was intense.
Leo, I admire how well you have put this sad and a regular happening stance in words!!
I know this very well…
Kudos! Sunday hugs xox
Well, I can do so much from my seat, the actions against it need to be taken outside, and soon. Glad you liked it, Olivia.
Sad but true. It does happen and hurts to know hoe low can one fall.
You have put it very nicely in this poem.
It is the lowest we can sink, in my opinion Harshadji. I hope the value of their love is realized and the act reduces drastically and to null soon.
Along with the poem thoughts expresses by you are also very touching.. Leo.. what can one say..accept pray that we become stronger inside..and give soul a chance to guide us..
Well, it is something I hope happens. We should guide the victims, because the state of mind they are in, they’ll not be able to on their own. Not immediately anyways. Thank you Rameshji.
So haunting! It reminds me of the little boy found dead in Maine. Turns out he was killed by his mom and she dumped his body then took off.
It is a sad state of humanity at times I feel, Linda. For a parent to kill a child is horrifying; more so when it is the mother who you think would care most for her child. I hope such incidents stop soon, real soon.
potent verse
Thank you, Sue.
Wow, awesome poem Leo!
Thanks Teri.
This is terribly sad, too often true.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/26/seven-steps-to-gehenna/
Too too often, Kim. Hope it ends soon.
Leo, this is brilliant! I’ve seen some of these crushed souls and I think you have depicted it marvellously. It’s a heinous crime…thanks for the message through your words…
I have not. I’ll be at a loss of words if I did I think. To be seeing that, and not able to help; it’d be torturous. Thanks for dropping by, Babby. Long time no see…
Very powerful verse!
Thank you, Madeleine!
you have brilliantly dealt with a crime so grotesque and so cruel yet so true in human life.
I wish that commonness in this grotesque crime is evicted and stopped soon, Baishali. Thank you for the appreciation.
Yes, it’s happening with more and more frequency now instead of less. You would think as we become more civillised it would cease to be but, that is not the truth at all.
Sometimes the small (children) cannot defend themselves against an adult cowards anger.
Very potent and hits home Leo. sad, but, well penned.
Unfortunate but true, Daydreamer. I think some are just anti-civilized perhaps. I hope the change comes soon, for the children’s sake.
It is a tragedy that these young lives die to their dreams and hopes.
Thanks for your sensitivity – I agree and hope for the day that it ends
Yes. It is a tragedy, Leslie. Thank you for the visit.
Very powerful write. Yes totally agree this crap is happening way to often. Or maybe we are just hearing about it more. There is no good excuse what so ever. Those thinking poor me, poor little old me and turning around hurting others trying to make themselves feel better are no better than scum.
Ah, but we cannot hear it more if it happens too less right? It is happening a lot, and I find it too much to take. But as with others, Pat, I find myself helpless. Yes, they are no better than scum.
I have lost the urge to read the newspaper these days, Leo. 🙁 🙁 It makes me very sad to read about such incidents every day.
Your rhyme beautifully captures the essence of the whole matter. Well written 🙂
The newspaper has a lot more news other than that, but the eye lingers toward these news, more in shock that the sin is becoming a daily phenomenon, Chhavi. It is very saddening indeed. Glad you liked my write up and thank you for the appreciation.
yes that was great….the perfect picture to get the point across…Thank you for giving awareness on such a matter.
That is all I can do for now.. The crime isn’t always publicized right? So can’t complain, or report or any such. Thanks for the appreciation, Leah.
So it happens once too often? ONCE IS too often! A horrible crime against humanity, to steal childhood from a child.
PEACE!
Steve E
Yes. very true Steve. Once is too often, and that sin is unpardonable I feel. Thank you. Peace be with you too. (I’ve redirected your comment to the right post.)
You’ve done well at weaving in the seven sins. Such a sad and moving poem.
Thank you very much, Randall. Glad you liked it.