Dead bodies were everywhere. I walk through the battlefield at the end of the day, and see so many dead, for no reason, for no fault of theirs.
“I’ll take my men, you take yours”, the words still rang through my mind, clear as day.
Very few men stayed with me. He’d taken them to their death. Or had he?
“I let them go. What if I’d spoken up?” the question came back. If I had faith in my strategy, we’d have won. We had the strength in numbers. We just didn’t unite.
“Dear comrades, I failed you”, I uttered. The commanders would call their efforts heroic and the loss meager.
Everyday we had trained together. We’d go into battles with a war cry.
“Destiny is ours!” the cry would ring. It’d generate hope through the camp.
“Where is our destiny, leader?” I heard their voices questioning me now. I had no answer but silence.
“Every man meets death someday; warriors meet him without flinching.” He who commanded my respect had said that. Yet his pride was immense. No one would go against his word, and he never listened to another. I had been the first to speak against him.
“Follow me, men. The enemy shall not expect our attack from this side”, he had said. The dust in the sky, however, told me they were waiting for us. Sensing danger, I suggested an alternative plan of attack, beseeching him to consider the signs.
“All right… I’ll take my men, you take yours. Let us see who is right”, he had replied and collecting a majority of warriors, strode off into the battlefield at the first rays of dawn. They fought bravely, but were outnumbered and lost. We’d followed from a different side, and overpowered the enemy later.
“Leader, if only you had been a little more vocal, we might have still been with you”, their recurring voices echo through the silence of the night. I hear someone breathing, a comrade fallen near a bush. I rush to his side.
“Long may you lead us”, he whispered, and Death, teasing me again, took the life of the last fallen warrior.
Vinay Leo R.
Poetry & writing are to me, a breath of fresh air in a life that is sometimes covered by the smoke of sorrow or self doubt. They also become the sweets I share to celebrate when life offers me a reason to. But most of all, they are to me, my life. For each word I write is a piece of my heart, a thought that just had to find its way into the world.
Very very nice post 🙂 I like your story style.. the narration as first person 🙂 🙂 🙂
*in first person 😛
This is a diversion from what you've posted in the past and it took my by surprise. the heft of it, the visual in the reading. I enjoyed this very much.(And you beat me to 3WW. I'm under the weather and am just now able to pull thoughts from the cobwebs.)
@Miya: thanks a lot! 🙂 :D@Thom:i know. i varied a bit this time, but glad u liked the image formations of my narration! i pray for ur return to hale and hearty u soon! 🙂 tc.
Yes this is very different from your norm. It's good to expand from time to time.
You put the reader right there! Excellent!
Phew, this surprised me too! Like the way you got the 3 words in!!
An amazing acrosstic story Leo,I presume it is very lifelike.This is something different from your usual postings but none theless an exceptional write.Yvonne:
no one ever really wins. good post.
A great story of courage and bravery. I admire you for this, how easily you pictured a war scenario with the feelings hurting me like I am into that battlefield, too or even a family of mine or someone close to me? You are brilliant here. What can I say more? Go Leo, go!!!
very nice story and winnable blog design theme…i am very proud of you!
yes; I agree with the others, the style is great!
And I came back to add; the acrostic is so clever!!!
Leaders make decisions – Good leaders have to make good decisions.
Excellent job, and strong imagery. 🙂
I liked this very much, Leo. Sad but well done.
awwww me likes this a lot!
Yes, a good variation Vinay :)…and we know, leaders and their strategies never unite people! wishes, devika
@Anthony:yes, i know! 🙂 glad u liked this take too!@Linda:yeah, that was the intention! glad it worked!@Andy:thank you very much! 🙂
@Yvonne:it's not real.. but yeah, i wanted to take my reader there. glad it worked! :)@Daily Panic:yeah, true! :)@Amity:thank you. its more of the mindset of unity in the battlefield that i wanted to portray..! 🙂
@Just Someone:thank you! glad u liked my acrostic story.. much appreciated!
@Shraddha:thank you, glad u liked both my template and my story! welcome back to my blog after a break! :)@Stan:exactly. that is the essence! thanks! 🙂
@Thomma Lyn:thank you. glad u felt it! :)@Dee Martin:thank you… yeah, sort of sad isn't it?! but it was needed!
@Desi:thanks very much! :)@Devika:thank you chechy! yeah true.. if the mind unites, then only the people unite isn't it? but more often than not, each leader is adamant of his own ploy than listening another's..
A different mood of yours..anyways great work indeed..
@Geeta:thanks a lot! 🙂
Oh God!!Its beautiful :)You are Amazing Leo 🙂
Coool!! Acrostic story?!?! :DYay, your template is back 🙂
You have been awarded…check out my space 🙂
@SatyU: thanks very much!! :)@Rosh:thanks! 😀 u rock too!@Riya:thanks! will see n ack! 😀
Clever take on the words. I don't remember seeing an acrostic short story before but this is very nicely done.
@Tumblewords:it's an innovation of sorts! :)u can find prompts for them if u click on the link i've given!glad u liked it!
cannot help but to think of some of the war games played online with members from everywhere colliding and following…
@Pie:thanks! yeah, the thought of war is now imbibed even in virtual reality isn't it?
Very good story on division. It needs a little tighten up, got confuse with the voices flowing into each other, but nevertheless, this is a very good attempt, and you showed what division can mean, especially in a war. A leader is only as good as their ability to listen to other experiences, putting away the ego and working together for the common good.
@Amias:that was sort of intentional, the mixed voices.. glad u liked it! 🙂